These were all responses to a thread begun by me with the subject “Dragon For Sale.”
****************************** Dragon for sale 35' long, green scales, breathes fire. Perfect as a house pet, or as a gift for friends or family. Requires minimal care. Eats a lot, but can go a month without food. May eat owner. ******************************
My friend, you have been duped. A TRUE green dragon does NOT breathe fire. I suggest that you return your “dragon” to its place of purchase, and demand a refund. (Hope you kept the receipt.)
Unfortunately, the last owner skipped the country after he sold me the dragon. Apparently, he had long wanted to move to Kazakhstan, but ferrying the dragon would have been too expensive. Before he left, however, he assured me that the fire-breating was a rare genetic mutation, and that the dragon truly was a genuine green. The dragon himself backs up the claim.
I've also longed for Kasakhstan for many years, so if you'll purchess the dragon within the month, I'm willing to offer a 10% discount.
I'm sorry. I'm looking for a blue dragon of the non-mutated variety as a partner for my adventuring half-blue dragon assassin friend. I'm afraid that a green dragon would clash with her wardrobe. Besides, she informs me that green dragons are lacking in hygiene, with a particularly distasteful “odour.” Should you, in your soujourn in Kasakhstan, come across a worthy blue dragon specimen with a desire to relocate and establish a profitable partnership, please contact the assassins guild in the city of Babel located on the Sphere of Varda. Leave a message for Indigo. A truly generous “finder's fee” could be yours, to help offset the expenses of your move … and to compensate you for the loss you are likely to sustain in the sale of your inferior dragon-type.
Best of luck in all your endeavors!
that a green dragon would clash with her wardrobe. Besides, she informs me that green dragons are lacking in hygiene, with a particularly distasteful
My particular dragon is cleaner than most, although he admits that others of his kind can be quite unpleasent to smell.
“odour.” Should you, in your soujourn in Kasakhstan, come across a worthy blue dragon specimen with a desire to relocate and establish a profitable
I don't find that likely, since, in my time, I have only seen one dragon and that is my own, but I'll keep an eye out.
partnership, please contact the assassins guild in the city of Babel located on the Sphere of Varda. Leave a message for Indigo. A truly generous
I'm sorry, but I'm not familiar with that nationality. On which side of the Atlantic would I find this “Sphere of Varda?”
and to compensate you for the loss you are likely to sustain in the sale of your inferior dragon-type.
I am not convinced by any means that he is inferior. Fire pleases me more than anything else a dragon might spew, and he seems nearly always in good health. I admit I have had little success in this newsgroup, but a dragon is a costly investment, and I can't expect to sell him overnight.
Best of luck in all your endeavors!
And best in yours.
Would this be a first or second edition one?
I asked the dragon, but he didn't know what I was talking about. When I explained it to him, he said “I scoff at your silly games,” and then he scoffed a great dragon-scoff. I don't think he's much of a gamer.
Bah! I have no interest in a dragon who won't join my game :).
Does it have it's shots? Can't be a pure breed with the green scales and the flame breath.
It's gotten every shot but rabies and leoparsy, but for an additional $30, I'll include the extra-large syringe. I got it for $250, but I don't have much use for it anymore.
As for the purity of blood, the previous owner assured me it was a rare mutation rather than a mixed breed, and the dragon himself adamantly defends that claim.
Biggest question: Housebroken?
Yes, besides the occasional accident that can't be avoided. I've had him for eight years now, and have only had to clean up after him twice.
A lawyer for PETA will be calling shortly to discuss your sale of an endangered animal over the internet.
Not them again. They've been on my tail for years, but every time they come, I just show them my Certification for Purchase and Sale of Dragons, and they go away. Usually, I just have my dragon open the door to let them in, and they don't even look at the certificate.