Subject: Re: Highest Level Character in the Land
Date: Fri, 28 May 1999 14:06:40 +0200
<and other dates, and other people, etc>
MARK JOHNSON mjhk16@megsinet.net wrote in message
news:_sn33.4$h66.160@news.megsinet.net…
Lance wrote in message 374D8106.C48B159B@success.net…Talen wrote:
Matthew Filla matthew.filla@teldta.com wrote in message
news:374d6d03.71077514@news.teldta.com…On Thu, 27 May 1999 12:01:55 -0400, Trainz mongrain@arobas.net
wrote:
Lance wrote:
Dragonscroll wrote:
napoleon48@aol.com (Napoleon48) wrote:I had a 3rd level ranger once, he had a Dagger +1, it was amazing how easy it was for him to kill Mudmen.
I had a 3rd level Mudman once, but he was horribly slain by a lowly Ranger! I vow Revenge!!
My character is a miniaturized intelligent sword +1 who has been overpowered by the massive ego of a third level ranger. I was once forced to kill an innocent mudman. The shame. And he always refers to me as a Dagger!
My character is a 3rd level weaponsmith who created a long sword +1. He wanted it so sharp that he kept sharpening it, sharpening it… until it was only one foot long. He sold it as a dagger to a passing ranger…
My character is a 3rd level farmer who lives down the road from a weaponsmith. One day a ranger stopped at my farm and asked if there was a good weaponsmith in town, as he was looking for a dagger, so I sent him down the road. “Makes the sharpest weapons in the land,” I told him.
My character is a 3rd level whetstone. One day the weaponsmith I was working for used me to sharpen a +1 sword. But I showed him… I sharpened and sharpened and sharpened it until I whittled it down to a one foot dagger.
I could have sworn ego was based on intelligence. But even though that Whatstone told me he'd make me sharp as a tack, I still get overpowered by that lousy Ranger!
I once played a 3rd level tack who conspired with a whetstone to whittle an ego weapon down to nothing, thereby destroying the evil longsword +1 and gaining enough XP to go up to level 3-1/2. Unfortunately our plans were discovered by the greedy weaponsmith who would sell his own mother for a lousy gold piece.
I once played a piece of paper all the way up to 5th level, but it was completely irrelevant.
Joost
I had a 0 XP acorn that fell into the corpse of a dead mudman. In the nurturing soil his decaying mud body, I grew into a 30th level oak tree. Then, one day, a ranger, a farmer, and a weaponsmith came up to me dragging a whetstone. They used the whetsone to sharpen an ax+15 which they used to chop me down. I was able to fall straight on to the weaponsmith and farmer, killing both and destroying the whetstone. The ranger, unfortunately, managed to escape, even though I scored a 20 to hit his foot. He sold me to a wizard, who had me made into notepaper for his lab.
I'm a 3rd level Boot that just got into melee with a damned Tack +1 This sacrilige just pierced my soul….
I'm a 3rd level Sock of holyness who's just been betrayed by a treacherous boot which just allowed a sacriligous Tack +1 to stab right through me and into my masters foot. Boy am I covered in blood! But there still seems to be a lot of mud still in the wound….
I'm the 3rd level wizard Spell of Foot Protection, cast on the ranger, and described in the 7th edition PH as follows: This spell, when cast on the foot of any humanoid, will make the foot nearly invulnerable to all forms of attack, including poison, paralysis and magic. The foot has an effective AC of -50, and 100,000 HP for the duration of the spell (6hrs/lvl of caster). The foot does not gain any special attack abilities. If the spell is cast on a ranger of 3rd or lower level, it is ineffective against attacks by sharp objects 1/2“ or less in length that have a combat bonus of +1 or higher.
Damn it all! I was just doing my job as a +1 Mudhole (C1998 TSR), when some asshole 3rd level Boot attacked me. Naturally I used the “Cling of Death” when he retuned with a +1 Tack attack. Still, I got back at the Sock……
Yeah, because I'm the Lawful Good farmer.
That's impossible! All farmers are inherently Chaotic Evil. As a Lawful Good wheat Paladin of the Blessed Grain, it is my sworn duty to bring an end to the heinous, mass-murdering of my people! Die, grain-killers!!!!!!
My son, how little you understand! What if you were to come across a baby farmer? Would you slay it because it *might* grow up to be evil? Why, what would our beloved St. Baldwin, Patron of the Inherent Possibility of Moral Self-Determination, say to that?
If I came across a baby farmer in the field, it would already be killing my people, cruelly crushing their stalks, uncomprehending of their cries–oh, the horror! I would stop its rampage by any means necessary, even at the loss of my Paladinhood.
Of course, once the baby farmer has entered the field it's only a matter of time before the grown farmer searches for its child, killing even more of us as it tromps about. Had I only sprouted at the edge of the field where I could stop the child from entering.
The best solution would be to convince the Farmers not to kill us, but can one expect to reach an accord with beings who are so thoroughly corrupt as to have dedicated their lives to killing millions of your people year after year after year? It is a sad world for we wheat who have grown in a Farmer's field. The Farmers' Evil will be combated at every turn with all our strength.
It is Revealed in the Holy Writ of Baldwinism that the Blessed True Believers shall feast upon the Bodily Portions of the Pig, and the Pig shall have Feasted opon the Grain.
And they that are True in the Faith shall slowly roast the Pig, in the Divne manner of BBQ, that it shall be Worthy in the Sight of Saint Baldwin.
From: rbaldwin@rio.STOPSPAM.com (Robert Baldwin)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.dnd
Subject: Re: Highest Level Character in the Land
Date: Tue, 08 Jun 1999 01:51:41 GMT
On Mon, 07 Jun 1999 15:36:29 GMT, matthew.filla@teldta.com (Matthew Filla) wrote:
On 04 Jun 1999 14:21:46 -0700, Erik Arneson erik@mind.net wrote:
My DM foolishly allowed me to have a Pencil of Character Sheet Modification, so I now have all the potions and scrolls I can use, in addition to a Garden Spade of Defense +5 and a Riding Lawnmower +5, Holy Avenger. Want one?
Unfortunately, my DM keeps all our character sheets inscribed on clay tablets, so they're a little hard to modify. The farming business has been a little rough recently, so what I could really use is a Periapt of Proof Against Foreclosure.
You have *clay*? No wonder you get to be so HL. I make *my* players write their character sheets in the mud, and they loose all the XP's and items that wash away between games. And we're in *Oregon*. It rains a *lot* here.